As the novel grew Ruth was astonished to see herself enter and dominate it: sometimes as she actually was, with all her dreams reviewed—as if he had caught her talking in her sleep. ‘Then we will beg. I have said that I am but a nun now. Yet he stays. Thames returned no answer. She replied, “I don’t care to draw attention to myself, Michelle. He spoke the automatic thought that entered his mind. Both had very singular faces; very odd wigs, very much pulled over their brows; and very large cravats, very much raised above their chins. Unconscious of the interest he excited, and entirely occupied by his own thoughts—which, if his bosom could have been examined, would have been found composed of mingled hopes and fears—the young man walked on till he came to an old house, with great projecting bay windows on the first floor, and situated as nearly as possible at the back of St. No doubt— because he did not understand you—he thought you had run away with someone. My mind is full of ideas and images that I have been cherishing and accumulating—dreams of travelling side by side, of lunching quietly together in some jolly restaurant, of moonlight and music and all that side of life, of seeing you dressed like a queen and shining in some brilliant throng—mine; of your looking at flowers in some old-world garden, our garden—there are splendid places to be got down in Surrey, and a little runabout motor is quite within my means. Without turning or looking in his direction she leaned forwards, her head supported upon her fingers, her elbows upon her knees. Blotted out—Love! With infinite care, through nearly a thousand pages, her father had obliterated the word Love. I didn’t understand.
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