It is so difficult. “If they matter to you, they matter. ’ ‘And it is very stupid of you to think of such a thing, because in this case, why should I seek out my family?’ Triumph rose in Gerald’s breast, but he took care to conceal it. The doctor had sown a seed, carelessly. To be sure, Ruth had dimly been aware of this; but now for the first time she was made painfully conscious of it. “What are you doing?” He cried. It makes no difference. \"No. It was a look that accorded very well with the hayloft setting that had come to mind. Her little bedsitting-room was like a lair, and she went out from it into this vast, dun world, with its smoke-gray houses, its glaring streets of shops, its dark streets of homes, its orange-lit windows, under skies of dull copper or muddy gray or black, much as an animal goes out to seek food. She found herself mildly entertained by staring at the houses through the rain as she walked home, all cast in a gray blurry film noir gauze of rain. ’ ‘Oh, that,’ Gerald said cautiously.
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